So there’s this new sex survey out.
Apparently they asked a bunch of people if they were having sex
And I’m sure everyone said yes.
(Unless theyre voting for Christine “I’m not a witch” O'Donnell.)
Well anyways the results weren’t too surprising.
Oral sex...apparently everyone is doing it.
Men, women, young and old...giving & getting head is thing to do.
Which comes as no surprise to anyone
Who’s been sexually active for the past ten years.
Gay sex is on the rise,
Particularly among people who don’t consider themselves gay.
Which also isn’t too surprising either.
We know drinking and horniness and experimenting all go together.
The biggest surprise of all, however is—ANAL SEX.
No not the gay kind...the straight kind. --YEAH!
Yeap it seems like more women are getting into it
And they don’t actually mind it...
And some seem to actually like it!
Well this brings me to my point.
Not that I’m saying it’s [anal sex] awesome
Or that it's something sooo amazing or anything to blog about...
(I dunno cause I’ve never done it)
But I’m kinda peeved that anal sex is becoming sooo popular.
In like 10 years when everyone else will be having anal sex
And bragging about it like it’s bread with butter,
I’ll still be one of the 20% of men who won’t have done it.
Why? Did you ask?
(You didn’t ask? Well whatever I’ll tell ya anyways)
The reason is because I’m blessed (or curse or whatever)
With a huge penis!
Yes I have a big dick.
(Some might also add that I'm a big dick too.)
No I’m not bragging,
Ask the women I’ve been with; they all say I’m huge.
I know most women say this to every guy they’re with
It’s one of those lies you women do.
Just like the one where you tell us "We're the best."
Usually I don’t believe any of it cause I dont trust most women.
After having the opportunity of dating 2 women who've done anal
And who actually aren’t put off by it (they exist, go fig!)
They’ve denied me the honor because of my “massive size.”
Yea maybe they just don’t want to have anal sex with me...
Who fucking knows...
But after all the complaints and all the "Slow down."
Or "Stop I'm sore."
I’ve come to the realization that yes I’m larger than average.
Yes that can be awesome to brag about...
but what the internet doctor who's shlocking those magic enhancement pills
Doesn’t ever tell you is that there is a downside.
Anyways I think I should write some blog or Tumblr
About 100 reasons why having a big dick sucks.
Itll dispel the myths that the average guys thinks is true.
Which brings me to my last point…
What the fuck is a Tumblr anyways?
KARMA bums
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