Wreck it, check it, can I get in it.

Rik's Log 8.27.10

Worst rap song ever!



This magnum opus is brought to us by pornstar Brian Pumper...
The man known for his amazing fucking skills.

Dude this makes classics like Whoomp There It Is, Who Let the Dogs Out,
And the MC Hammer classic Pumps and a Bump
Seem like seminal work worthy of international acclaim.

So why are we wasting our precious oxygen watching it?
Well because even thought it sucks...it features Montana Fishburne.
That's Lawrence Fishburne's slutty pornstar daughter.
And I gotta say she's not that bad
(Man if I could stick my dick in that...)

However the video is still barely watchable.
Sooo if you have the guts enjoy...
What should only be shown to terrorist detainees
Languishing in American prisons.


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We'll be playing and having fun and it makes me feel so fine...

Rik's Log 8.22.10

Weezer Concert!



I went to the track yesterday...
There was a free Weezer concert...
I gotta say that again, most people dont believe it:
--> FREE WEEZER CONCERT! ...& yea it was awesome.


At the track, I also caught the last 2 races.
I bet $10 on the #10 horse to place on the 10th race.
He did and I fucking won 30 pesos
Sooo kinda awesome.

Also... I got my tickets to the Independence Jam!

Really excited about The Delta Spirit performing...

& I sooo wanna see Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.
Hopefully itll be awesome and not hella packed.

Well the rockn'roll days of summer keep on keep on...




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I'll stop the world and melt with you.

Rik's Log 8.20.10

So I've been eating M&M Pretzels all day.



I was watching the commercial a few weeks ago, (See it above)
And I loved it sooo much...it's hella funny.

It looks like the meek M&M is going to be ravaged by the Pretzel.
The M&M is making a whole big deal (like it should be),
That someone is going to be inside of it.
The Pretzel is unfazed, like business as usual...
"Yo, clock is ticking bitch."



So anyways after watching the commercial a few hundred times
I was like, "Maybe M&M Pretzel is gonna be da-bomb"
So when I saw them at the store, I was like "Gotta have it."
I bought 2 bags cause they were on sale 2 for $5.
(Yea I know, I'm fucking stupid.)
Sooo today I've been stuffing myself retarded with M&M
Fucking over my diet and workout routine.

You know, the thing is theyre not even that good.
I fell for all the fucking hype on TV.
Now I'm stuck eating crappy M&Ms...I have no willpower.

And you know there's a trend of this.
(No, not my lack of willpower.)
M&M is making crappy M&Ms to compete with others candies.
There's M&M Peanutbutter to compete with Reese
There's M&M Almond to compete with Almond Joy
And now there is even an M&M Coconut to compete with Mounds.

Now this all sound like awesome variety
(Especially if youre an M&M freak)
But, the thing about all these new M&M's
(including M&M Pretzel) is...
Theyre not as good as the products they compete with.
And theyre definitely not as good as the original M&Ms...
It's just another case of the hype being better than the real thing.

M&M Pretzles are just okay
If you want good M&Ms stick with the classics;
M&M Regular and M&M Peanut.




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I want your everything as long as it's free.

Rik's Log 8.11.10

So a few days ago...
A hot girl quits her job and America goes crazy.



At about the same time, a few dorks duped millions online...
But no one even notices.
Every one is too busy linking pics of the hot girl who quit,
They dont realize that it was a silly hoax.

And what sooo ridiculous is that it was very obvious.
Yet every blogger and their grandmother was posting it.

I mean couldnt they see it?
The silly overexaggerated gestures utilized by silent movie actors
The car-show-model poses and the constant Vanna White smiles...
All common characteristics of a 2nd rate struggling actress.

I mean every month a new huckster comes along
And so easily pranks everyone online
Because idiots are sooo quick to believe and link everything.
If you slap some T&A on it, suddenly everyone wants to see it.
No one thinks for a second that maybe it's a hoax.
Even though it's quite friggin obvious!

Then dumb bloggers and journalists post it on their sites
Without any background checks, making it news and automatically factual.



Meanwhile a real working man's hero
Who actually has an psychotically extreme awesome quitting story
Loses some of his 15 minutes cause some HPOA from LA is fucking with us.


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