We are Sex Bomb-OMB and we're here to watch Scott Pilgrim kick your teeth in!

Rik's Log 9.25.10

Sooo movies movies movies
That's pretty much all I've been doing lately.



I hear Scott Pilgrim is coming out on Blu-ray soon.
After watching it like 3x at the cinema
I think it's officially my favorite summer film.

Nothing captures my pop culture affinities much like this film.

I really love how it combines most of the things I like
Video games, Rock music, cute girls, and Mike Cera's blank humor
And throws if back at me in a big pile of hella awesome.
I'm even getting the comic books just to have some more cred.

After watching the movie a few times I'm conflicted...
I dunno if I should like Ramona Flowers
Or if I'm should fall in love with Knives Chau.

Ramona Flowers is sooo cool and awesome
She's the kinda kickass girl that you'd want to drag to Weezer concert
(I dunno if Ramona even likes Weezer)
Knives Chau is sooo cute and she can kickass too.
I'd probably just pine after both of them
Then date the drummer Kim when I got rejected.

I do have one complaint (as always)
I felt that Ramona shoulda been played by someone with more flair

I think that Kat Dannings or maybe Emma Stone woulda been more apt.
Mary Elizabeth Winstead is cute and all...
but she doesnt have the nuff 'tude to play Ramona awesomely well.
Also I just think I have a celebrity crush on Kat Dennings.
Well whatever...I'm done gushing about Scott Pilgrims.

Sooo if youre looking to revamp your Netflicks quene
Here are my picks of this summers most memorable films

Kickass----------------Awesome
Clash of the Titans----Skip
Ironman Dos------------Okay
Salt-------------------Okay
Knight & Day-----------Skip
The Karate Kid---------Okay
Going the Distance-----Skip
The Expendables--------So bad you gotta see it
Scott Pilgrim...-------Awesome
Prince of Persia-------Okay
Robin Hood-------------Skip
A-Team-----------------Awesome
The Last Airbender-----Okay
The Losers-------------Skip
Get Him to the Greek---Awesome
Nightmare on Elm St----Skip
Predators--------------Okay
Splice-----------------Skip
Inception--------------Awesome
Toy Story 3------------Okay
The American-----------Skip
Machete----------------Awesome
The Town---------------Okay
I'm Still Here---------Awesome





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Here come the Jets, little world, step aside! Better go underground, better run, better hide!

Rik's Log 9.20.10



Sooo the NY Jets won a game, and they won big.

After all the crazy talk of lack of discipline and bullshit.
They apparently managed to pull it together
And demolish their longtime rivals
Who everyone keeps saying are the best in the division.

Well after getting my fill of watching Tom Brady flutter around the field
And get sacked by Jason Taylor and other LBs...

I felt happy to know that my team prove theyre worth the attention.
And not just because of some weird locker room incident
That involved some oversexed Latin-American reporter.

This week proved that the Jets do have discipline
And that the offense can score and score big against Bill Bellichick’s defense
And that Tom Brady isn’t infallible and the Patriots aren’t an elite team
And that apparently hot women in the locker room arent a big distraction.


The media however, loves to talk about hot reporters.
(Actually they love to talk about hot anything, especially if there are pics.)
Sooo maybe we should discuss what everyone else is talking about
Even though it’s not totally pertinent and it’s mostly a media fad
And you all know how much I despise media fads.

But since it’s me and (if you know me) I cant keep my mouth shut about anything
I do have some thoughts about the whole Ines Sainz incident in the Jets locker room.

First, why the fuck do women who dress like sluts
Are surprised when they are treated like one?
If youre gonna walk around a men’s locker room dressed like this..
You shouldn’t be surprised when guys act like middle-school boys.
Afterall this is football we’re talking about it’s not a White House press conference.

Fuck even ESPN has trouble getting rid of the fuck-anything-frat-boy mentality.

People just have to understand that sports and sex go hand in hand
And if youre gonna sell yourself as a sex icon...
Well, youre gonna have to accept the consequences
Thatll come with the title of the Sexist Reporter on Earth.


I’m sorry, Miss Sainz but if you want to be treated like a serious reporter
Then perhaps you should behave like one.




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Wreck it, check it, can I get in it.

Rik's Log 8.27.10

Worst rap song ever!



This magnum opus is brought to us by pornstar Brian Pumper...
The man known for his amazing fucking skills.

Dude this makes classics like Whoomp There It Is, Who Let the Dogs Out,
And the MC Hammer classic Pumps and a Bump
Seem like seminal work worthy of international acclaim.

So why are we wasting our precious oxygen watching it?
Well because even thought it sucks...it features Montana Fishburne.
That's Lawrence Fishburne's slutty pornstar daughter.
And I gotta say she's not that bad
(Man if I could stick my dick in that...)

However the video is still barely watchable.
Sooo if you have the guts enjoy...
What should only be shown to terrorist detainees
Languishing in American prisons.


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We'll be playing and having fun and it makes me feel so fine...

Rik's Log 8.22.10

Weezer Concert!



I went to the track yesterday...
There was a free Weezer concert...
I gotta say that again, most people dont believe it:
--> FREE WEEZER CONCERT! ...& yea it was awesome.


At the track, I also caught the last 2 races.
I bet $10 on the #10 horse to place on the 10th race.
He did and I fucking won 30 pesos
Sooo kinda awesome.

Also... I got my tickets to the Independence Jam!

Really excited about The Delta Spirit performing...

& I sooo wanna see Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.
Hopefully itll be awesome and not hella packed.

Well the rockn'roll days of summer keep on keep on...




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I'll stop the world and melt with you.

Rik's Log 8.20.10

So I've been eating M&M Pretzels all day.



I was watching the commercial a few weeks ago, (See it above)
And I loved it sooo much...it's hella funny.

It looks like the meek M&M is going to be ravaged by the Pretzel.
The M&M is making a whole big deal (like it should be),
That someone is going to be inside of it.
The Pretzel is unfazed, like business as usual...
"Yo, clock is ticking bitch."



So anyways after watching the commercial a few hundred times
I was like, "Maybe M&M Pretzel is gonna be da-bomb"
So when I saw them at the store, I was like "Gotta have it."
I bought 2 bags cause they were on sale 2 for $5.
(Yea I know, I'm fucking stupid.)
Sooo today I've been stuffing myself retarded with M&M
Fucking over my diet and workout routine.

You know, the thing is theyre not even that good.
I fell for all the fucking hype on TV.
Now I'm stuck eating crappy M&Ms...I have no willpower.

And you know there's a trend of this.
(No, not my lack of willpower.)
M&M is making crappy M&Ms to compete with others candies.
There's M&M Peanutbutter to compete with Reese
There's M&M Almond to compete with Almond Joy
And now there is even an M&M Coconut to compete with Mounds.

Now this all sound like awesome variety
(Especially if youre an M&M freak)
But, the thing about all these new M&M's
(including M&M Pretzel) is...
Theyre not as good as the products they compete with.
And theyre definitely not as good as the original M&Ms...
It's just another case of the hype being better than the real thing.

M&M Pretzles are just okay
If you want good M&Ms stick with the classics;
M&M Regular and M&M Peanut.




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I want your everything as long as it's free.

Rik's Log 8.11.10

So a few days ago...
A hot girl quits her job and America goes crazy.



At about the same time, a few dorks duped millions online...
But no one even notices.
Every one is too busy linking pics of the hot girl who quit,
They dont realize that it was a silly hoax.

And what sooo ridiculous is that it was very obvious.
Yet every blogger and their grandmother was posting it.

I mean couldnt they see it?
The silly overexaggerated gestures utilized by silent movie actors
The car-show-model poses and the constant Vanna White smiles...
All common characteristics of a 2nd rate struggling actress.

I mean every month a new huckster comes along
And so easily pranks everyone online
Because idiots are sooo quick to believe and link everything.
If you slap some T&A on it, suddenly everyone wants to see it.
No one thinks for a second that maybe it's a hoax.
Even though it's quite friggin obvious!

Then dumb bloggers and journalists post it on their sites
Without any background checks, making it news and automatically factual.



Meanwhile a real working man's hero
Who actually has an psychotically extreme awesome quitting story
Loses some of his 15 minutes cause some HPOA from LA is fucking with us.


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We go through too much bullshit just to mess with these drunk & hot girls.

Rik's Log 7.29.10

New hat!



So (as the pic evidently shows) I got a new hat.
It’s cool and all, got it at Old Navy, but it’s not snug or worn.
I miss my old hat that usually would fit perfectly...
Alas that hat is now in Ireland.

So obviously now you want to know how my hat got to Ireland...Well here’s the tale of dumb guys, pretty girls, and bad decisions.

So last weekend I went to PB and we’re at Typhoon’s It’s like a club that’s trying to be chill but upscale at the same time. So the crowd is mostly Cali hipsters, horny douchebags, college kids and young girls trying to be cool and upscale... Not a recipe for a fun time, if you ask me.

After a short night of mostly getting dissed & teased (pretty normal)
The club closed at a very early 1:45a (also pretty normal).
Now we’re outside and it’s the last-minute hookup dash
You all know what I mean (wink & smiley face).

So my roomie has got some Irish girls in his clutches and is trying to seal the deal. So I go up to check out the action. An Irish chic who looks just like Miley Cyrus,
She runs up and grabs my hat and puts it on her head and smiles.
(I’m sure she does all the time back home, in Ireland.)

In a really cute Irish accent she says “I want your hat.” I prudently reply “No. Sorry babe, but it’s my hat.”
“But I want your hat.” She insist.
“No. It’s my hat. Besides it’s old and sweaty and...” I try to negotiate.
She responds “I’m going home to Ireland in 2 days.” And then pouts.
I don’t know how that is an adequate argument...but it worked.

I said “Youre going back to Ireland?”
(As if Ireland was Bangladesh and they don’t have running water.)
She smiles and hugs me and kisses me on the cheek.
And I reluctantly concede and say “Fine you can take it.”


Now a few days later, I remember how hard it is for me to find a good hat. I gave away my previous hat to my buddy before I join the Corps

And when I came back to reclaim it after bootcamp, He stretched it out and didn’t fit well. Since it looked better on him I relinquished it, and went looking for a new hat.

Now I’m in the same position once again
Cause I couldn’t resist a chic with an Irish accent.
Well at least I found a new hat that’s got some potential
But itll take time before it as snug and fitted as my old hat.

Now I'm just trying to rationalize it.
I figure that since I might never go to Ireland...
Maybe my hat should.

Well at least that’s better than saying,
I let an Irish Miley Cyrus look-alike take my hat.

KARMA bums

I got a quad-laser, it will amaze ya!

Rik's Log 7.24.10

BEHOLD, YOUR DIGITAL RULER!



Bow down and worship us, punks!


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No time for losers cause we are the champions--of the world!

Rik's Log 7.17.10

Well it’s was a long week and it’s finally over.
Now I’d like to say a few things about the Boss...


RIP George Stienbrenner.

He was a man who knew the price of championships.
Unlike several other owners who we know or heard of...


Like the ones who’ve last week
Failed to get one of the best talents in the NBA.
(I’m talking about you James Dolan and Dan Gilbert)

George knew to pull out all the stop to get the necessary players to win.
Yes sometimes he lacked patience but sometimes he made the right moves
Sometimes he was insensitive but sometimes he knew what to say
To get under-performing athletes back on the winning track.
He may have had many flaws (which youll definitely hear about)
But under his ownership the Yankees won 7 World Series...’nuff said.

Speaking about championships the World Cup is over.
And who woulda thunk it…the Spaniards won!
And now we must all put our vuvuzellas away, thank god.



Man I gotta stop blogging about sports all the time
Before they start to think I’m part of ESPN’s sports network.


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I'm a long gone daddy in the U.S.A.

Rik's Log 7.4.10



Happy Independence Day!
I like saying Independence Day rather than 4th of July
Because sometimes some people forget
That we're celebrating our start as a nation.
You know it's a little patriotic of me.

Well it wasnt a bad 4th.
Despite what middle Americans believe
California does know how to celebrate our Independence Day.
And very important they got beaches and lots of them...
How the fuck can you celebrate the 4th without a beach or some water?


Well I had fun grilling and swimming...but something was lacking
I didnt get any illegal fireworks to explode...
How is any godfearing beerdrinking American gonna celebrate the 4th
Without any firecrackers or bottlerockets?



Well whatever...
I, at least loved the beach...it's just hella awesome
I especially loved the surfers, now I wanna learn how to surf...
Cause next year I'm wanna be a surfer on the 4th of July.


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Something like a phenomenon baby!

Rik's Log 7.3.10

Damn Argentina got smoked!



Well I cant say I'm sad to see them go
But I did enjoy seeing Coach Maradona act ridiculous

Including his three peice suits
That made him look like gay Italian fashion designer.


Well with a week gone since the US was defeated
Now the World Cup is getting interesting.



The Vuvuzella's a wailing and the Europeans and Latin Americans are psyched!
With all the teams that are going to the Semifinals
Hailing from Europe and South America...it only proves what we knew all along.
That Europeans and Latin Americans know how to play Championship soccer.

My biggest surprise, The Netherlands beating Brazil.
I guess the Dutch are the real deal.
Well let's hope the Germans dont annihilate everyone
On their warpath to conquer the World Cup.



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Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-ey, goodbye!

Rik's Log 6.18.10



Sooo the NBA Finals are over (finally!)
And every goddamn Lakers fan crawled from their crab holes
Out to party like it’s a race riot. Sooo while Los Angeles burns in celebration
(literally, seriously see the pics),

I’d like to take the time to congratulate the Lakers
and Kobe and Ron and Derek and Pau and Phil Jackson
For such a deserving win.
I only hope and pray (to the basketball-loving god)
that I’ll never have to suffer through another Lakers v. Celtics NBA Championship ever…
(Well at least for the next 50 years please.)


Now if only the US soccer team could learn how to win a fucking game.


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Been on the run driving in the sun looking out for number one

Rik’s Log 6.17.10

Sooo now I’m in California…
I find myself having to compress the last 3 years of my life
into a few paragraphs, so we can catch-up…
And get back to the starting sentence.

What happened and why am I back here blogging?
Well where do I begin…? Here’s the recap.

Back in 2007 I kinda gave up trying to express my opinions
And focused on doing other stuff...I’m lost trying to remember what
Much of 2007 was like…well last I read (on this blog)
I was very impressed with an episode of Lost.
(I’ll get back to that on a later date.)

From my recollection 2007 went somewhat like this…
I met a girl, I fell in love and had great sex then lost the girl.
I survived had a few drinks until the summer came.

And I met another girl, I didn’t fall in love, I didn’t have great sex…
I did too many things that I should probably regret and bullshit,
Yea massive amounts of bullshit.


Then the fall came and I met another girl,
I fell in love and fell out of love and fell in love
And didn’t get any sex at all…spent time frustratingly masturbating
And stumbled around with her for a year wondering if I was wrong.

Then 2008 came and I lost many jobs,
I lost my patience, I lost my courage, I lost my passion…
And just got tired with it all.
And what does someone who’s finished with it all do
Before he loses his mind…? I dunno.

Me, I lost my mind and joined the Marines
In hopes I’d be shipped out to some remote place
Where my life could have some meaning.
That was 2009.

Well a bunch of near death experiences, awe-inspiring accomplishments
And tons of cursing, sweating, bleeding, and regrets I made it to 2010…
A Marine living and working and drinking and fucking and dying in San Diego.
Sooo now I’m in California…that’s pretty much my story.



Well, why am I blogging again?
Well a few weeks ago I found this site was still running
And I knew it had to come back.
California has invigorated me and changed my perspective (only slightly),
I figure there’s still someone out there reading…maybe, hopefully,
So Logger Rikky lives on once more.
Let’s hope I don’t lose interest too quickly.


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Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years!

Rik's Log 6.11.10

I know it's been awhile. Youre probably as frustrated as commuters waiting for the late night train... Relax! Stay put, new shit is coming soon...

Don't call it a comeback I've been here for years rocking my peers and putting suckas in fear...

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& I've been working like a Dog

Rik's Log 5.17.07

So I’ve just seen the lastest episode of LOST
And I’m just schetvzing over everything…
I need some time to let things sink in but AWESOME
LOST is perhaps the greatest TV drama of our generation
I don’t think anything else comes close…
& all you 24 fans who are about to object, no seriously LOST kicksass!

Now I’m just waiting for next week’s 2hour Season Finale…
Last Season’s Finale was spectacular and this one should be the same…
But who knows…I’m crossing my fingers that Locke makes an appearance
But they could push that all the way till the new season (Season 4).

Anyways I’ve been working hard on films or hardly working
Whichever you think is apt.
So I’ve had very little time to work on this blog… (that so few people read).
But I’m also thinking of good things to post not just my mundane ramblings…
So there might be better blogs in the future.

On to good news (or I dunno) I gone to the darkside of tools…
I’ve been power tool crazy this last week buying some power tools…
Now me and my pal Richard

are thinking of becoming amateur carpenters
You know following in the great footsteps of Jesus…
So I dunno maybe I’ll try to build a table and lose a few fingers
Sounds cool regardless…and it’s great blog fodder.

So regardless of what is happening what I’m basically saying is
That really great blogs are coming I’m just waiting for the excitement to begin…
So let’s get drilling…anyways later.


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Dancing is Forbidden

Rik's Log 4.30.07

I'm like so stoked!
This past week I saw the new ATHF: movie film for theaters.
For those of you not in the know ATHF happens to be
The Aqua Teen Hunger Force!

It is just the craziest-wierdiest-funniest cartoon ever
It makes things like Family Guy and South Park seem tame in comparison.

ATHF is one of those love or hate things
It's so out there that you're force either to embrace it or reject it
There's no middle ground--it's like religion (or a cult).
To us fanatics it becomes an inside joke
It's something so secretive only a core group of folks know about it
And when others see it they get scared and confused
Which is what happened with the Boston Mooninite Scare incident read here.
I guess we can say it brings people together.

The cartoon itself is a medley of insane sitcom antics
With strange drugs&rockn'roll hallucination.
My art professor would say it brings postmodernism to the cartoon age
While retaining the zany loonatic antics of classic cartoon comedy.
It perfectly targets that twentysomething too-hip too-clever
& wasted on everything crowd.

The movie was no different than the show...only longer.
It had all types of gags that included
A minature Neal Peart (from Rush) inside a watermelon spaceship
Shake explaining the Birds&Bees to Meatwad (laughed my Ass off!)
A Timewarp Lincoln being pursued by the FBI
A Chicken Nugget Action Hero named Chiken Bittle
Who's voiced by Bruce Campbell...just a to name a few. Click here.
By at the end I didn't know what was happening
But I had gotten tons of laughs.

Anyways watching non-stop cartoons has got me thinking
Maybe it's time I invest my time (cause I've gots lots of it)
Into creating my own cartoon...I dunno what it'll be about...
But just wondering if anybody knows flash animation...
We could totally rock out with our own internet cartoon.
Well I'll post more about my ideas later.

Anyways AHTF: Movie film for theaters was awesome
It's in theaters right now.
If you're a fan of the show or feel interested by what I said...
WATCH IT! Or suck major balls.


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The Vice of Killing

Rik's Log 4.24.07

Last week Monday (for those who don't pay attention to the news)
Virginia Tech became the scene of
One of the most insane massacres in American history,
Well at least modern American history.

Anyways the media aftermath of that event
Has become what I call another CNN Circus
Where news channels, newspaper, media blogs, news reports,
& all forms of individuals who claim to be knowledgeable of something
Tell us their "much needed" opinions on the situation.
We also get inundated by hundreds of images
And accounts of what occurred.
Making last week's tragedy into the sensation of the week.

Worse than the tragedy itself is turning it into movie premiere!
And what's worse is that man responsible suddenly becomes a celebrity
Perhaps it would be better if we didn't mention anything
Or made a big deal about it & instead showed a little respect quietly.
Perhaps it would not encourage other unstable persons to seek fame in such a way.
It creates a ridiculous cycle when the next psychopath kills dozens
He (cause it's usually a he but I can't wait till some crazy chic...
goes bang bang in a school, what will the feminists say)
He will thank the media for giving him the great idea...
Cause the media should be equally responsible.
And that's the problem: the media is not responsible.

But as Americans we want all our news and we want it now
And we wanna know all the whos whats wheres and whys.
But why do we all need to know the whos, whats, and whys?
Sometimes people go crazy and kill lots of innocent bystanders.
It happens occasionally, you know people have many different problems...
& some people solve their problems by offing others.

And the other tragedy is how this kid was made a monster.
No one is ever created a cold-blooded killer
It environmental conditions that create people who become mass murders.
As equally responsible as the killer is for his actions
And the media is for their irresponsibility;
The punks who bullied him during his teenage years are also responsible
Cause they created the murderous madman.
And they should at least be acknowledged for their part.

Everything is related in a chain of events
And no one event can standalone.
If people were more responsible in their treatment of others
Perhaps more tragedies could be avoided.
Of all the kids who spoke to the media ‘they knew he was crazy’
But noone said once that ever tried to help
They all just watch silently as he delved deeper into darkness.
We all drown in our apathy.

So as much as society wants to pin this event down on one person
It’s society’s responsibility that this event happened.
Our American culture (through the media) created this individual
Our children taunted and abused him fueling his anger
And the people who surrounded him as young adult ignored the situation.
But when the volcano erupted we only saw one person.
Now we all complain about gun control and school security...
But what about purging our society & redefining our values?
What about teaching our children to be less mean, selfish, & apathetic?
Because without a true reassessment of our values
It’s only a matter of time before another poor tormented soul explodes.

Anyways those are my two cents on the subject.


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Guess who's back, back again--Shady's back, tell a friend

Rik's Log 4.12.07

I think I've spend enough time away from this blog to return.

It's been around 10 months since my last post,
& it wasn't that I didn't have anything to say...
It just that I was too lazy to care.

Of course now after 10 months of silence (well I really haven't been too silent)
I'm just bursting with hundreds of things to rant about...
Of course you're all dying to read these cool new post (as if I had readers).

Well anyways to maintain a sense of brevity
I'll soon begin to post again so you should all pay attention to my blog.
Perhaps I'll use the term "Nappy-headed Hos" to garner more attention

So don't wait till I'm on CNN for some controversial article...
Start reading about all my cool adventures now.


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You've been a Juvenile with a Dolphin smile

Rik's Log 7.26.06

It's 5am
I'm surfing de web & watching cartoons...the usual stuff you know...
And I got to thinking--how much I missed the last day of school.
You remember in Grade school and Jr High when the last week of school came...
And how cool it was to just count the days, the hours and the minutes...
Well I miss that sense of anticipation...

It was even cool in HS...
Everyone was wearing shorts and discussing their summer ideals...
And nothing will ever beat the last week of 6th grade.
Man I wish I could revert.

Anyways I need to get a new laptop...well a laptop period.
Of course it'll be new but it's not like I'm replacing an old laptop...
So I'm shopping for my first laptop, that I'll say.

Anyways at first I thought I new what I wanted then...
Well I got confused and then I thought I figured it out...
But now I'm still confused again...oy vey!

I've narrowed it down to an Apple MacbookPro or an Alienware Sentia laptop
I dunno which since both have good selling points...so I'm confused.

The Apple was my first choice
but after some researching it's lost alot of it's charm.
First thing it's horribly expensive compared to what I can get from Alienware.

Another thing that would be good for most people but not a wierdo like me...
The other day I was onset working
You know getting dat cheddar...as the kids tend to say...
Well everyone using a computer were all using their little Macs & Apples
& I got to thinking do I want the same thing that everyone else got...?

It seems everywhere I turn I get bombarded by all these hip Apple users...
I just don't really like them why should I join up with them--
I actually want to rise above them...even most of my Apple-loving friends.

I also hate those pretensious Mac commercials...
& I can't for the life of me buy into a brand or product whose's ads I hate.
I rarely buy Coca~Cola or Miller Lite.

So I'm really undecisive about a Mac...
But I must admit it's got alot of convienient & useful things I could use...
I've worked with OS-X before and it's pretty amazing...I actually like it.
And the fact that everyone has one...well I could fit in...
And sometimes it's important to fit in--I'm can get tired of saying
"No I can't help cause that program won't work on my PC."
Or "I did the work but you can't see cause it's on a PC format."

On the Alienware side it's got the same features as the MacBook
& a bit more power and upgradabilty (which Macs don't have)
And it's around $700 cheaper...which is a nice bit of money...
Most of my work is done on windows which I'm used too anyways.

But it doesn't have Mac's OS-X
Which has alot of features that kickass and I might want or need.
But are they worth $700 extra?

Man I won't know the answer till I buy a computer.
Why can't they make a Windows Based laptop under dos-grand that runs OS-X...
And isn't own by pretensions hipsters? I'd buy that eh...

It is my lot in life to suffer.

& They're All Livin' Devil May Care

Rik's Log 7.1.06

So Several folks have been asking me to divulge on my Vegas experience
So finally tired of mumbling some craps...{haha} I’ve decided to write this.
So if you’re interested--read it.

So Vegas was…
The airplane ride was uneventful--except for the music.
Now lemme tell you I really like riding on Delta Song Jets
And I’ll try to only fly with that airline, if I can have it my way.
They have this thing that plays music and it has tons of albums
I listened to several Beatles and Stones albums,
& tons of 90’s pop which was cool...
But what did me in was listening to Aaron Copland’s Billy the Kid ballet
It’s an exceptional piece and particularly angelic
So while I’m flying over the Grand Canyon
You can imagine The Open Prairie playing and I just feel majestic.

They also had this trivia game you played against other passengers
I came in third place repeatedly but quit after frustrating losses.

So when I arrive at the Vegas airport…
It’s a mile walk to get anywhere near to the baggage claim.
And rather than make a decent moving walkway
They decide it’s better to litter the airport with slot machine.
This is going to be the running theme of Las Vegas...
Rather than make things easier for you
They go outta their way to make it rather inconvenient for you...
While mysteriously making it convenient for you to spend your money.

So we leave the airport and arrive at the Vegas Strip...
It’s only about a 1/4 mile from the airport so you can’t really miss it.
I soon realize that there is not much more to Vegas than the Strip.

Now the Strip is impressive but c’mon this is what this city consist of...?
So walking down the Strip it like being in Disney World or Time Square
Only there are Adult themes--signs everywhere for great sex & alcohol.
Like a giant amusement park all the Hotels have themes.
They either resemble countries or regions like Paris, NY, or Venice
Or they have historical themes like ancient Rome or Egypt, or Medieval England.
The craziest thing is there is this idea...
That Vegas is the Family Entertainment Capital
But the moment you step into the strip...
You realize there is not much a person under 21 can do here.

So after you’ve walked through the Strip and seen the excitement
Which is not that big once you’ve been to Time Square or Mardi Gras
You begin to feel very dehydrated and you go to get some water
There you realize that Vegas is the most expensive place outside of Disney World.
A bottle of water cost about three bucks & don’t try drinking tap water--it sucks.

We went to a buffet and it was 25 bucks per person...
& that didn’t include alcoholic beverages!
And then there is all these everyones who will do anything for a tip.
There’s a guy in EVERY bathroom giving you paper towels for tips...
For a buck I can get my own damn paper towel myself.

The next couple of days where spent working very hard and hardly sleeping
And it only reaffirmed my first impressions that Vegas sucks.
I travel through much of what was Vegas outside the Strip & wasn’t much impressed.
However I must admit that the scenery outside of Vegas is impressive
The mountains and the beautiful desert with nothing to see but the sky...
They were indeed very magnificent.

When it came time to leave I was just so happy to get out of Vegas
That I waited in the airport for hours not to miss my flight.
(I already missed 2 earlier).
And NY was a cool breath of air--finally a town where things made sense.

Now lemme tell you my greatest revelation of Las Vegas
It came after driving in & out of Vegas to SoCal and back.
I realized the silliest thing which is perhaps the most impressive thing as well.
Las Vegas is a desert in the middle of nowhere.
But somehow somebody (probably Bugsy Siegel) 50 years ago
Thought up a genius way to get people out in California and other places
To travel for hours to the middle of a desert to spend their money on booze
And give the rest of it away to casinos in silly card games.
It’s sinister--it’s just a desert but everyone goes there and thinks it’s awesome.

If I told you
That I’d make The Mojave into the Entertainment Capital of the World
You’d lock me up--but look at Vegas!
It just proves a sucker is born every minute.

So now you know my views on Vegas.
And you’re asking “So Rik you’re never going back to Vegas again?”
But I’ll probably be back someday...
Cause I really want to get on the rollercoaster in New York, New York.